Article by: Fadiel Baker
Everyone can relate to the feeling of falling in love for the first time or the proverbial “catching feelings”. The feeling of butterflies in your stomach and your heart racing at a million beats per second every time your crush would walk into the room. Falling in love can either be one of the best or worst feelings in the world depending on whether the other person feels the same way about you. I once heard someone say that the cruelest way to die was to love someone who doesn’t love you back.
For our generation finding what’s genuine amongst all the filters, glamour shots & exaggerated social media profiles is a task in my opinion far more difficult than what our parents had to endure – speed dating. The more overly photoshopped profiles I come across on social media the more spending two minutes sitting across a complete stranger in an attempt to find my soul mate seems so much more attractive.
It is my opinion that the reason we present these filtered selfies to cover our flaws and hide our imperfections is because we want to eliminate as much possibility of rejection as possible. The ultimate goal of our presented perfection is not only to accumulate as many likes as possible to validate the greatness of our egos but also to put our best selfie forward in an attempt to find love or be loved.
The issue with the foundation of love being based on feelings is that feelings change. The biggest mistake the human mind can make is to think that love is only an emotion. If we bae someone based on how we feel about them then what do we have left when we don’t feel the same way about them after a month? Failed relationships leave deeper scars on our hearts then what we realize. At its starting point love will begin with a warm fuzzy feeling because that’s the way God created us. However, love grows much deeper than the warm fuzzy feeling. It moves from warm and fuzzy to a word that seems to have slipped the vocabulary of our millennial generation: Commitment. The bible tells us in the book of first Corinthians and the thirteenth chapter the following characteristics and nature of love:
It is: Patient, kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud, it does not dishonor, it is not self seeking, it s not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs, it does not rejoice in evil, it always protects, always trusts, always hopes and always perseveres. This for me is way deeper than changing my relationship status on facebook.
A bigger issue is trying to find love based on an appearance of perfection. If we look at the example of Gods love for us the bible says “God so loved the world that He gave His only son…while we were yet sinners”. In other words God is into genuine relationships. He not only wants our “pretty” parts but the “messy” bits as well. If that’s the example of our heavenly father, then we should learn to love ourselves and from that place begin loving others.